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ash wednesday
youth group
frustration. i'm here but i should be doing my homework
culture clash - young running around, old not happy about this
church unfulfilling
okay so,
i'm just gonna post all my rough edged thoughts and not develop them. cause it has just been way too long.
take me out
franz ferdinand
women as people pleasers
are we trained to strive to please others? to do everything possible to make them happy. go along with what they say. give them the answers they want to hear. why do we desire to do this? gain their approval?

relates to polite circles.
very productive day for once:
up till 3 AM writing paper
class @ 8
doctor @ 9
turn in paper @ 10
brunch w/ mom @ 10:45
work @ 11:30
figure and take deposit to bank
linear algebra @ 2
work @ 3
home and workout @5
clean house
for those who might be inspired
alt worship is a movement, and movements want to disseminate. and blogs are about show and tell - for people who can't possibly come and see but who might be inspired.
small ritual
polite circles
drove down to mpls -

awesome pizza, beer and movies. feels really nice to just hang out at amy's parent's house. little tour of lake minnetonka drive. stopped at a really big blockbuster:) drove around downtown wayzatta.

really excited to go to a concert at the quest. get myself out of fridgid little bemidji into a little fun and excitement. especially excited to see ben and hang out with him.

sitting in line at the carwash, doing a little blogging. plans for the afternoon: touristy siteseeing/shopping in uptown, starbucks, min instutite of art, jeruslems on "eat street" nicollet ave for a late lunch. over to amy's friend kari at 6 to meet up. concert - fun dancing singing drinking. then after party with amy's friends and ben.

jamming to switchfoot

howie day and stereophonics talking to danny at the quest - wanted to go more indepth, but too loud
Look and laugh
all the gaping void cards i wanted to post, but was too lazy to download, upload and link to are on danielsjourney. go look and laugh. they are some of the wittiest things online. and i want one of daniel's shirts:

Happy Birthday Liana!
My wonderful and beautiful friend Liana is 21 today. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you! We'll have to make a date for when you come in to town:)

Crappiest Academic Week Ever
yea - so this week is in contention for the crappiest academic week of my college career. subsequently, few posts. i have lots of ideas/theories/news to talk about and it is killing me to not develop them here . stay tuned.

"quote: it's just a bad day in the universe; [we] just decided; i don't know a single person who's doing ok today
afraid of waking: that sounds about right."

politics will change
when political culture
has more in common
with punk culture.

the movement is more important than i am.
we believe in something.
let's change the world.
we can't be bought.
fuck you.

finally get to go down to the twin cities. get to go with awesome people - amy, stacy and erin. get to see howie day, stereophonics and ben.
happy belated 21st to erik!

Words to live by
Politics is not about money, it is about the importance of people's lives. - Paul Wellstone, November 1990
let's solve the world's problems
you from new york you are so relevant
you reduce me to cosmic tears
luminous more so than most anyone
unapologetically alive knot in my stomach
and lump in my throat
I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure such an expression
supposed former infatuation junkie
I sink three pointers and you wax poetically
I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure such an expression
let's grease the wheel over tea
let's discuss things in confidence
let's be outspoken let's be ridiculous
let's solve the world's problems
I love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure such an expression

- alanis
Can I have those back please?
Yeah, so my parents gave me a ride to church today cause it was really cold and when I walked out to meet them, I noticed that ALL OF MY HUB CAPS WERE GONE! Someone stole them - on Valentine's Day! I drive an '88 Buick Park Avenue, who wants those hub caps?

I didn't notice when I left Kamran's, but considering I was there till 3, it probably happened there. I called the cops and reported it for statistic sake. Then, I called Amy and she still has her's as does Jon.

This is just really annoying and another incident in the string of bad luck I thought I was done with. I realize now that shitty things are going to happen to you forever. The joke is on the theif though, last year I had to replace one, but couldn't find a perfect match. So my dad put two of one kind on one side of my car and 2 of another on the other side. They are not even a matching set - too bad for you.

I'm annoyed that it makes me feel unsafe in my community. I've always tried to believe in the inherent good of people and it carries over to my community-view. This incident has taken that away from me. There was a burglary in my parents neighborhood recently and they say a transient male who has been around lately fits the discription. The crime here has been thrust in my face and it makes me wonder, has it always been this bad or is it getting worse? My mom says that the law enforcement she has talked to blame it on the meth problem in the area. What are we doing wrong that is producing this outcome? Is there a more pro-active way we can deal with this? I want to feel safe again.
pink pants
I had an okay Valentine's. I worked at Uptown, did laundry and went to Kamran's for drinks and discussion. The conversation seemed to be a little male dominated, but that was due in part to the majority being male. Amy and Molly (Josefson) did their best to get a word in...even if I didn't have much to contribute, I must say it was very amusing. I got my call(s) and that made me happy.

Before we all left we went geeky and exchanged msn addresses. Then, Amy and I were She-Ras (sp?) and pushed Jo-Nathan's car out of the snowbank.
doc-martens is back up an running with a very nice new design. not that i didn't love the orange, but this is much nicer on the eyes and gives me a feeling of the city he's now living in.
Never download flash for your new mozilla browser if you have an open blog post. All windows will automatically be closed. You will lose your data. Post post post.
Tamarack and Thirteen
Fatigue is setting in and now I have to re-write this whole post. Damn, it was good to. Well, Amy and I climbed the 12 floors of Tamarack Hall this afternoon. We were expecting it to be worse, but thanks to our individual cardio efforts, it wasn't bad. Next week we plan to do 5 times and make a stop at the rec center. This week we made a stop at Uptown afterwards instead. We had a lovely chat and parted ways to shower off our nastiness. We met back up at Ground Round with Bill, Laura, Kamran, and John (Hatch). I love hanging out with these people, they are some of the most intelligent, interesting and funny people I know.

At dinner, I ordered a Bud Light tap. The waitress suggested a tall - sure. I was expecting a pilsner - no this was a 1/2 liter mug. A little much for dinner, but I "suffered" through it. I had a nice salad which, unfortunately, was also classified under "low carb". I've been craving spinach a lot lately. Does that have a lot of iron in it or something? Maybe I'm low on that. And we all had awesome desserts.

After dinner, Amy and I went to the video rental to get a movie. We chatted with Frank Moe after he narrowly missed us with a box of popcorn (we wrote a note in the scum on his truck and moved his auto-campaign sign:) We brought Thirteen back to Amy's and called up Stacy to come and watch with us.

I have been anticipating seeing it since I saw the preview during American Splendor in Cali this summer. It was good, though I have not been so disturbed in a long time. It very well could give me nightmares. I'm glad I was watching it with the lights on and with people who appreciate good films. It was also fitting that we were watching it on Friday the 13th.

I browsed through Amy's CD collection (the best in Bemidji) and joyfully brought home two to enjoy for a while. It was definitely quality Amy time today:)
Lonely Hearts Club
Amy and I are holding a meeting of the lonely hearts club this Valentine's Day. As much as I like [red and pink don't clash] day, it's sad to not get a Valentine or flowers, or have someone to kiss on V-Day. For all of you without someone, Kamran is holding a get together at his humble abode this evening and I especially encourage all you males to attend. And I guess those of you with someone can come too.

Anyway, we are two lovely ladies who are smart, funny and generally just a couple of the coolest people you've ever met. So, BOYS where are you? She and I were talking today about how we are ready and waiting. Not desperate, mind you. We are looking for someone with whom we can make an awesome connection. Fix us up already people. (Sorry Amy if you didn't want this broadcast.)
crazy lobby day
what a day. i went down to the state capital today with other bsu students for the msusa student lobby day for higher ed. we departed at a horrid 3 AM into a crazy snowstorm. we made it through and arrived a little late and a lot tired.

a few highlights:

my first appointment was at 8:30, just 10 minutes after we arrived, with carrie rudd. it was okay, i wouldn't say i was on my toes quite yet. i was still a little fuzzy from the drive and lack of sleep. (i wish i was as informed as my mom. i talked to her about it tonight and she pointed out the flaw in rudd's thinking).

later, doug fuller, our representative talked with our entire group. he seems to think that a new hockey arena is the item he should push the most. (instead of the remodel of our IT building). in a show of hands from our group, we told him we are unainimously for our academic builiding before an ice rink. then fuller proceded to talk about hockey for the next 20 minutes. when pressed for answers as to why he let our academic building slip on the priority list, he told us the only thing he could do is chew out the mnscu committee. i love hockey but doug - give us proper representation.

as always doug lindgren was an idiot who wasted our time.

rod skoe met with a couple of us and it was nice. he was honest about what he could and couldn't do, he didn't make promises he couldn't keep. he is wise.

the coolest thing - when we were leaving skoe, jerry janezich walked by and stopped us to ask who we were. i thought he looked familiar and asked him when he told us his name if he had run for govenor. he actually ran for senator - i was like - you're the one with the tom & jerry's bar (think i surprised him with that, but that was one of the things my mom had told me about him when he was running and it stuck). turns out now he is working as a lobbyist for mnscu - fighting the good fight.

it was nice bonding with old friends and new people/boys. never enough new boys in ones life.

(sorry this has kinda been the attack of the run on sentence post)
happy birthday to my mommy!
My awesome, intelligent, beautiful, caring, funny mom is 49 today! She is my hero and best friend. Send her an email and wish her a happy birthday!
i find so many times when i am in a really good blogging mood or have thoughtful or original things to say i am no where near a computer or even paper. like driving in my car with the radio blasting, singing or almost crying trying to convince myself to go home to my messy apartment where i'll have to do homework and house work. or when i'm working out, punching and kicking the air according to billy's dictation. i can analyze and assess my situations in sucinct little expressions. i find once i sit down and type it, all the quality and spark of the idea falls short. goes away in favor of correct sentence structure. or is it the sheilding of the public from my true feelings and protecting myself from putting it all out there.
If you're a pro-war liberal, chances are you're probably feeling burned right now. The case for the Iraq war rested on three pillars: The danger of Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction, with the clock ticking on a nuclear capability; the danger of Saddam Hussein's connections to al-Qaida; and the human rights imperative of deposing one of the world's most despicable regimes and assisting newly-freed Iraqis in building a democracy. Well, it turns out that Saddam didn't have much in the way of WMD, or even ongoing WMD programs. And it also appears that his ties to al-Qaida were tenuous at best. So all that's left for the war rationale is the human-rights-and-democracy argument, which for liberals is intuitively appealing (or should be). But then along comes the Bush administration's November 15 Agreement to relinquish sovereignty by June 30, which tells the Iraqis that, owing to election-year considerations, the United States can't be bothered right now to midwife a democracy. You might say you've been Iraq'd.
via slacktivist

I got a raise at uptown.
time to start applying myself
It is essential that you apply yourself to this project consistently over the course of the semester. Thus, the due dates are firm. Furthermore, I anticipate giving everyone full credit for the entire assignment. By that I mean that I expect a well-designed, correct implementation of all of the classes, complete with a testing program from you. By applying yourself consistently, you will not find this an onerous expectation. You will have the opportunity to make small pieces of progress on a weekly basis and get help from me in a timely manner. I am willing to consult with you regarding partial designs and partial implementations.
good times good times
wednesday stuff
uptown flew by and was fun
abundance of joy - i'm in love with my middle schoolers. they teach me how NOT to be too cool for myself, how to laugh.
i'm connected to church again
jamming to pink on the way home - "God wants you to shake your ass"
good workout
lutheran worship - good music, good message, good God time.
even open mic!

that's the community i want to be a part of. i wore my hot pink pants and painted my face like i was going out on the town for church on sunday. i did it partly cause i like to shake up the conservative old people in the congregation and partly cause i should be my real self at church. if hot pink pants is who i am on saturday night it should be on sunday morning too.
The Showerhead Conversion
It is not a requirement that one be naked when encountering God. I think it probably helps. But you can't plan these things; if you go around naked hoping to meet God in that state you're probably going to be foiled. The one time you put on pants to answer the door, the person you thought was the UPS driver will really be God in disguise.

Need a little upper? Looking for inspiration? This is an awesome story of life, love and faith. In four parts:

The Miracle Tree
Phobos and Deimos
Who Are My Brothers?

I have no evidence to give. I have only myself, my words...It is not evidence. It is only myself, poured out into words and sentences and paragraphs, as expertly as I'm able. I cannot offer evidence, but I can offer myself. I have no proofs, no photographs, no polygraph results. The vast majority of religion is, at the end of the day, hearsay.
Nice Idea
State lawmakers submit bills to ban state business from being sent overseas

This is a nice idea, but it seems like this would just discourage businesses from moving to our state and encourge others to leave. It's just being proposed so, nothing is in stone yet. We'll see where it goes.
We Were All Wrong

What is the future of American intellectual labor?
in ppl & env we talked today about the offshoring of manufacturing jobs, but what of the offshoreing of knowledge and service jobs. foreign markets and economies are booming and growing far beyond the rate of us (the united states). what are we to do when all the jobs, except the CEOs, are gone?

...the idea of education as a lifetime income enhancement...
The Digital Death Rattle of the American Middle Class
Dion Dennis via theyblinked

With recent and dramatic reductions in the cost of telecommunications and computers, it's apparent that key elites have decided to iterate and extend the cost cutting strategies of the 1970s and 80s by moving not only manufacturing jobs, but customer service, software and chip research and development, financial services, back office support, and other "symbolic knowledge worker" positions permanently off shore. The following chart, adapted from a February 3, 2003 Business Week article, and from a webpage for the PBS current events magazine NOW, draws the contours of this trend:

Globalization and the Projected Exodus of White Collar Jobs from the U.S.
Architecture 32,000184,000
Art & Design 6,000 30,000
Business Operations 61,000 348,000
Computer 109,000 473,000
Legal 14,000 75,000
Life Sciences 3,700 37,000
Management 37,000 288,000
Office support/Sales 295,000 1,700,000
Total 588,000 3,300,000

...If, in order to maximize short term profit and gain market share, transnational corporations find it expeditious to hollow-out the U.S. middle class, by exploiting every device from tax abatements to outsourcing the jobs of symbolic analysts, so be it. And if in doing so, the social and biological quality of the environment and lived experience deteriorates, that's the way it goes.

...double the cost of tuition, as an incentive for students to quickly finish their academic careers:
Mr. Hug said that if tuition were increased, students would speed through their academic programs and spend less time in school. The reverse is more likely ... If Maryland imposes barriers to higher education for the middle and lower classes and fails to educate a workforce that can meet the needs of Maryland's employers, those industries will move ...

Rising costs and funding cuts are resegregating higher education, not by color but by class. Low-income students find it hard to pay for a degree.
Jane Bryant Quinn

no degree, no job even if you have a degree, class warefare - is this the future? or is it an overreaching prediction?

thoughts on a previous religious conversation
i used to defend the modern, conservative view of xianity. you aren't telling me anything i don't already know. its
impossible to prove it, so i just stopped trying.

i don't need to prove it, i know in my heart there is a God that exists beyond my understanding. I don't need to prove that to anyone. my job is to live the most godly, loving life i can while i am here and if God reveals himself to me through that, then i am all the better for it.

i'm not here to judge, to force my beliefs on anyone, i'm here to love. and that's all i can do.

it's amazing how in one environment i am considered this liberal heretic and another i'm considered the most religiously conservative one in the room. i guess it all depends on the company you are keeping.
more political/religious discussion in the cs lab. seems i can't get away from it. NEED to do Linear, Data Structures, research...not (blog) wax philosophical - even when that is the best part of university.

the thought occured to me this weekend that procrastination was simply the prolongment of agony and that i was making myself miserable when waiting till the last moment to do my homework. yea, need to work on that too.
is education the sole purpose of university?
college writing II actually fulfilled a purpose and got us to think critically about real issues. people gave knee jerk responses to a writing prompt attacking college students as unimpassioned-consumers at summer camp. i tried to actually back up my ideas instead of just saying: no, that's wrong. my prof praised my thoughts and asked for responses to MY statements! i feel so smart. maybe i am my mother's daughter.

all that discourse with froyd finally paid off:)

Young House Love
Anna Maria Horner
Apartment Therapy
Kellie DyKast's Scraplog
Oh Happy Day
Feeling Stitchy
Desire to Inspire
Modern in MN
This is Glamorous
The Martha Blog
Perfect Bound
Love Forever
2000 Dollar Budget Wedding
a $10,000 wedding
Style Me Pretty
Snippet & Ink
Little Green Notebook Don't Call Me Becky
Sublime Stitching
St. Paul Craft Mafia
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