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I can say what ever the hell I want on this blog - beware: all annoying comments will be reprimanded
ah, yea. An annoying little 16 year old just dropped a load (of knee-jerk, ignorant, xian, logical fallicies) in the comments of a post from September. As much as i'm trying to not let it bother me, it really irks me (I sent her an email about how she took things the wrong way). She seems to think that a) my comments were directed at her b) her group is not responsible for its problems c) I am a sub-par xian who should just try and be more open to new surroundings.

Maybe I am a sub-par xian. I was annoyed at this meeting. I talked about it. I pointed out the problems. Deal.
i'm ready i am
i read your last entry overprivelaged kids keep crying the need to fit in is harder when living life from a screen old classmates please drop all your pens dont write a word cause i wont reply and im not bitter, no its just ive passed that point in my life each night it ends too soon you dont hold me like you used to and your eyes look like theyve seen too much its always some excuse too tired, too obtuse
the format
in with the outro and out with the old - the format
Using my laptop in the cs lab is a good thing. get out of the house and where other data sturctures students are struggling (and avoiding) studying for our test. Although, one problem is my desire to sing along with my mp3 player - not really appreciated by my peers.
Yea, it has been way too long.
Sorry everyone. I have been avoiding posting cause I know the time implications it usually involves (and I'm lazy). It's really unproductive for me to be doing this right now, but I don't fucking care about "Divide and Conquer Algorithms in Data Structures" right now so I will post for your enjoyment and my sanity (or the extension of my misery - which ever way you look at it).

Some recent happenings:

We had a spaghetti dinner fundraiser for the college democrats last Wednesday. It went really well and was fun. We served up good food to lots of democratic faculty and students and some affiliated with other parties that came out of the goodness of their hearts. It has put ideas in my head of running for president of the chapter next year. We'll see.

Thursday night was a campus discussion of the idea of indivduality vs. citizenship. The discussion was spured by Robert Bellah and his book Habits of the Heart. He is the keynote speaker at this year's Student Acheivement Day. A group of about 50 students, faculty and community members were divided into smaller groups of 8, each with a facilitator. I sat at Kamran's table. The problem each group was charged with finding a solution was the "parking situation" on campus. When the groups convened at the end we all agreed there was no parking problem on our campus. Rather, there was a walking problem. We all complain about walking 4 blocks, when most campuses have longer distances to walk and higher parking pass prices. We have it pretty good at Bemidji State. The conversation then turned rather political - in a good way. It made me wonder if there were any republicans at all in the room. If there was they didn't speak up.

Afterwards, Amy, Kamran and I went to the Union Station for $1 taps and conversation. Kvale, who had also been at our table at the discussion expanded on his idea of the need for a place in the community where people from all generations could gather to just hang out, talk, whatever. Somewhere where adults are not in places of authority, like your parents or teachers would be. I'd agree that we desperately need some sort of community center.
more new blogarines
So far I hate blogs.
Too much ego everywhere. Let it go and become invisible. In invisibility you will finally be seen by those who have the right eyes for you.
Pirates are great and so is Kumdo. I wish I had a real real sword.
Frickin' hillarious! Checkout the Shawn-O-Meter. I love that "Shawn's" hits up my daily visitor count. But, apparently Joggua is annoyed by seeing the same referer over and over.
dinner with real live preacher
I don't know too much about anything; I really don't. I'm a rank amateur when it comes to just about every aspect of life, and I say this not out of false modesty but as a result of much soul-searching and contemplation. But what I do know is this: some of the most valuable things that you will ever experience will happen when you're sitting at a table in a Mexican restaurant, noshing on leftover tortilla chips and draining the last ounce of beer from the bottle. These moments, when two or more people are gathered in the name of What Matters, are when we as people find ourselves at our most open and at our best ... Friendship, like marriage, like parenthood does more than simply give us a moment's pleasure; it helps remind us who we are.
to be serious and playful is not to contradict oneself
The war of ideas must be waged by various and intelligent means. To be right is one thing, but to be right and laugh with eternal merriment is another. Joy and laughter break the spell of time, the creepings of death and the awareness of potential failure. Most street demonstrations and marches and protests are full of angry and violent faces. If only they knew that to be serious and playful is not to contradict oneself, but to provide the greatest means of persuasion and personal satisfaction. To save the world is a noble cause, but one must never lose sight and sound and smell and taste and touch of that very intuition I would hope prods one along---the awareness of the wild joy and mystique that is everywhere.
Biblical Marriage
Protestants for the Common Good
This anonymous piece was forwarded to us; we reprint it not because we agree with any one of the principles but because it shows the folly of taking an uncritical appeal to the Bible (which would force one to take some positions on marriage that people of Christian faith believe are unacceptable). It appears to be a less specific restating of "Biblical Sense: Making Marriage Religious" written by Mary-Ann Greanier and originally published in the Boston Phoenix.

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between
one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in
addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a
virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be
forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the
constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry
the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or
deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one
shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law.
(Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your
town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with
him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men
young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of
course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
Resentment turns to loathing in Iraq
They said life now was worse than before occupation forces invaded a year ago, and they wanted the Americans to leave immediately to let Iraqis sort out their own destiny.

Jumuaah, a 41-year-old shop owner, voiced the most familiar complaint - the Americans had failed to deliver on the basic necessities of life. "Before it was safe under Saddam but he was bad and we wanted to get rid of him. But now there is no security, and we don't have reliable water and electricity.

"After a year of broken promises, I don't believe the Americans anymore. Any intelligent person knows they are liars. The Americans came here for political reasons - they want to dominate the whole world."

- Roshan Muhammed Salih in Baghdad
A group claiming to have links with al Qaeda submitted a statement saying it supported President Bush in his reelection campaign, and would prefer him to win in November rather than the Democratic candidate John Kerry, as it was not possible to find a leader "more foolish than you (Bush), who deals with matters by force rather than with wisdom."
The group said its cells were ready for another attack and time was running out for allies of the United States.

"Whose turn is it next? Will it be Japan or America, or Italy, Britain or Oslo or Australia?" the statement said, adding Pakistan and Saudi Arabia were also targets.

yahoo news via daniel
I am in love with their new CD - I listen to it over and over. It totally rocks - there are great fun songs, some introspective songs and some really good bluesy songs. You can't beat Kelly Jones' vocals and songwriting.

I'm Alright
I'll draw another line for you
That way you know I'm hip, that way you know I'm cool
I'll smoke another smoke for you
I'll blow back in your mouth and you can blow back too

I'm alright - you gotta go there to come back

Nothing Precious At All
There's a new girl at the coffee house
She's got first day blues

She's got red hair and a motorbike
And lime green shoes
A mohair hat and a summers dress
And black tattoos
And then she fly away, in her high heel feet
And her fire dress, And she's throwing things
That took her time, to save it up,
And buy what's special, then she look around
And sees what's left and it's nothing much

Gonna drink herself to sleep tonight
And that's nothing new
She goes out almost nine every night
And gets high as the moon

Four and twenty white boys
Singing in the street
Getting high on most things
Wishing they were free

Help Me (She's Out of Her Mind)
In the mirror
Loving, Saturday night
With the telly on loud
You wanna show her that you love her
But there's sex on ya mind
Makin' love from watching movies
I think I'm doin' it right
Welcome to the Blogosphere
Kamran has a blog: Observations and Contemplations
Go check it out - its all philosophical and stuff.

Oh, did I ever mention that Froyd has a rant page and an ongoing writing project blog?
I had a wonderful evening tonight prior to the phone incident below and the really loud people upstairs having a party (where they are aparently jumpping up and down or falling on the floor, errrr). Kamran, Laura, Amy, Tessa and I went to dinner and then went to watch Lexi in a Curling tournament. Jo-nathan met up with us towards the end of dinner and we all ventured to the Curling Club.

Laughter abounded - jokes and jabs, comments, observations, which were punctuated with political and philisophical discussion. We were in an environment where we could hear each other talk, it wasn't smokey, they served beer, and it wasn't a bar! The cool new hangout is definately the Curling Club. Its Minnesota's little secret.

Then on to Amy's where we continued to the wee hours of the morning on thoughts of life, academia, and such.
yeah not so much cool
So, I'd really like someone to take me out to a movie. To actually ask me in advance, pay for the tickets and then hang out afterwards. Can I please go on a date.

I say this, in part, cause heartbreaker just called. He was really drunk and usually that is fine cause usually he talks to me. But this time he was talking to girls who were leaving (have I mentioned there is no need to make me jealous?), the driver, other passengers, pretty much everyone but me. HEY - did you call me for a reason or what? Then I was told to hold on for a minute. Slightly annoying, but at least I was being warned that I would be ignored for a while. So as I was impatiently waiting, my phone started calling someone - like I had dialed and pushed call. I thought maybe it was calling heartbreaker back again. Maybe it had been put on hold for too long or something. I let it ring a few times and hung it up - mostly out of curiosity of what it was doing.

Yeah, so I get to my apartment where my cell doesn't work and I get a voicemail. So, I try calling back on our regular phone and WTF we get cut off within the first 3 seconds of talking. I am thoroughly annoyed. Plus Chels isn't here like she said she would be.

UPDATE: He called back when he was more sober and we had a very nice chat.
The worth of a life is not determined by a single failure or a solitary success. - The Emperor's Club
via Kelly S.
Jesus and the Fishermen
My daughter approached my wife recently and said, "I'm going to tell you a story. It's called 'Jesus and the Fishermen.'"

"Oh, how wonderful!" my wife said. "How does that story go?"

"Well," my daughter began. "Jesus and the fishermen went out on the boat. Then they saw some sharks. Jesus said, 'Don't be afraid.' Then he took out his gun and shot the sharks. The end."

- Correction

Grandma's Dumplings
I missed the annual 'Dumpling Sunday' at Grandma Albrecht's while I was in Colorado, but she made sure to drop some leftovers at my parent's for me. They are sooooooo good. I love my Grandma she is a tough lady with a kind heart (and one of the best cooks around). She has to put up with a lot of shit from my uncles and cousins. They do not appreciate her at all.
Is this mono?
I'm worried I might have mono. My glands are really swollen and sore in my armpits. Sorry to gross you all out, but this is weird and I don't like it. I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday to have it checked out. I don't have time for a cold let alone mono. This would explain why I couldn't do anything but sleep all day Sunday (the first appearance of bumps).
Awwwwww! power out in my basement apartment AT NIGHT. This is a little scary. Luckily my laptop battery is fully charged (which is producing the only light in my apartment) and I have a cell phone, cause the only other option is a cordless that requires electricity. I think the power is out all over town, it doesn't look like any street lights are on outside. This also means that the internet has died (doing this in notepad). Now, where did i put that flashlight? Maybe time to light some candles. Cellphone towers out too, crap.

I went and drove around - cause ah, being alone in a pitch black basement is not fun. The whole town was black, I wanted to see if my parent's were out too and they were. We watched the power come on across the street from their house and we figured it was probably on at my house too. It was so weird driving in the pitchblackness while in town - makes for beautiful stars, though.

Sean and Kamran also experienced similar "laptop lighting" till they found their flashlights:)
I want to go:
Change majors?
...to stay and do more interesting/passionate work or to finish and be done with homework and out in the scary work force...
mp3s that I can't get enough of:
Howie Day - Morning After
...Find out about the music
Is the CD jammed or upside down
I'd really like to feel you with dinner
And we're sitting on a city bench
Together in a tourist town
If the fashion ad were here you'd be in it...

Howie Day - She Says
Sweet is the sight of a room window open by candlelight
How would you know?
Cold winter on the shore chills the dress she wore
It’s on the floor, still it feels so warm today...

Rhett Miller - The El
...You're a long way from where you belong unaware
We were on pins and needles (me singing the guitar: vroomp vroomp vroomp)
You were gearing up to cry
I was the instigator you were the reason why...
Land Ethics
The early settlers did not expect this: on the cienegas of New Mexico some even cut ditches to hasten [the degredation of land]. So subtle has been its progress that few residents of the region are aware of it. It is quite invisible to the tourist who finds this wrecked landscape colorful and charming (as indeed it is, but it bears scant resemblance to what it was in 1848).

...Conservation is a state of harmony between men and land. Despite nearly a century of propaganda, conservation still proceeds at a snail's pace; progress still consists largely letterhead pieties and conventional oratory. On the back forty we still slip two steps backward for each forward stride.

Aldo Leopold, The Sand County Almanac
Never let anyone tell you the desert is barren. It is teeming with
life. Agile reptilian creatures lurked under stones, tenacious plants
clung to life in the thin, sandy topsoil, minute wildflowers, nearly
invisible unless viewed from close range, dotted the desert floor.
All of it was cradled in the vast embrace of a silence so deep it
calmed all thought and feeling. Life in the palm desert pulsed
without all the rustle and restless sounds of wind, trees, oceans, or

My parents brought me to the desert in the wintertime, ostensibly to
absorb the sunshine, to let the dry air of the arid landscape leech
into lungs and sinuses. Lying wrapped in a light blanket on the
deserted poolside deck I did indeed receive the healing of the desert
climate. But in the process, the deep silence entered me and taught
me to listen, to see, to hear, to become attentive to the noiseless
substrata beneath all that is.

Conversion, the desert ascetics assure us, is forged in such a place,
a place of listening awareness where one becomes attentive to the
silence of God. There, in the vast stillness of desert solitude, we
are gradually converted, unmade, and remade. We become a fresh

Wendy M. Wright, The Time Between
If our view of ourselves is anything less than being a word spoken
forth by God, then our self-image is a self-constructed façade -- a
crust of self, a false self. This self finds itself required to hold
the world at arm's length and manipulate it through the use of
informational and functional dynamics in order to maintain the facade,
rather than be open and receptive to the shaping and transforming
presence of God who meets it in the world. ...

I have come to realize that the primary work of God's grace in our
lives is to liberate us from this destructive bondage to the crust of
self in order to shape us into wholeness. God seeks to create in us a
whole new structure of habits, attitudes, and perceptions; of dynamics
of personal and corporate relationships; of patterns of reaction and
response to the world.

This new structure is one of increasing Christlikeness. God is seeking
to break the crust.

M. Robert Mulholland Jr., SHAPED BY THE WORD
everybody's doin' it in '04
this message will...
quoting someone-
"Howard Dean was like the tape in Mission Impossible. He gave the Democratic Party their instructions and then self-desctructed." -Eli Pariser
comments from the sxsw conference in texas via theyblinked
Being extremely conservative and treasuring all that is around and resources while camping. Being careful not to waste or leave a trace in the Grand Canyon - being 'low impact', eating food off the ground and savoring every meal, being thankful for all water that we have. But once out of the canyon we are back to our old ways, finally being able to throw our garbage away, dumping our iodine water down the sink, driving a gas-hog van across the country, buying junk food at every stop. Going from pushing our bodies to their limit for most of the day to sitting and sleeping most of the day while we drive back home.

Have we learned nothing from our experience? No, we have learned things. We've learned things about ourselves and each other. We've learned tolerance and discipline. We are different and can never be the same. We did it with eachother - and it would have been awful with out them. Without the affirming love that gives confidence and ambition.
back home
Sunday morning I woke up feeling horrible. My ever worsening cold had hit its peak and I slept most of the day away. Partly because I had a splitting headache and nausea and partly because I didn't want to face my real responsibilities yet. Like my unfinished, late homework, Frank's site update, the new homework, didn't want to face those at church that I have 'let down'. This unfortuately caused me to miss the Beltrami County DFL convention. But, I really felt awful and couldn't handle it. I should be good to go for the 28th Endorsing convention, which is more important anyway.

My parents went to the convention and my mom got elected as a delegate to the 7th and 8th district conventions. She is really excited and had hoped she would be elected. She was also appointed to sit on the executive board of the county DFL - so now she actually has a responsibility to be at their meetings once a month. She is very well informed and will do an excellent job.
the ride
We left Friday (3/5) afternoon and traveled in a 15 passenger van with 10 people, giving us ample space for everyone. I sat shotgun for most of the ride to Arizona. This gave me control of the radio, which I liked very much. We drove through the night from Minnesota to S. Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska, and Colorado.

We stopped in downtown Denver for brunch on Saturday morning at the 20th St. Cafe. Really great food and service in the spotless 1950s style diner. Back on the interstate, traffic was backed up due to a semi-truck carrying half a mobile home that had blowover on the hiway. The wind was really nasty and this wasn't the only truck that was on its side from the wind, we drove past three more up the road. This made us a little nervous, being in a tippy van.

more to come...
the week gone already
Wow, so much has gone on this Spring Break. I actually trekked down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and crawled my way back out. The whole thing seems rather sureal. Traveling in a van for 30+ hours to get there, doing more physical work in a day than I have in most weeks, and having to go back to real life with its responsibilities and baggage. I'll try to put my thoughts in order from the last week to post as soon as possible.
"Trust that I can break the evil spell of your aimless busyness. Trust that I want only to be with you. Let go of your anxious schemes. Let go of your self-doubt and self-hate. Let go of your unbelief that I am not with you."
-- Thad Rutter Jr.
random stream of consiousness to tide you over till i can get my head above water
will be gone till march 14th in the grand canyon with bsu opc and my buddies! here comes the sun, no books, and no class! work and books will definately be waiting when i return. not to mention volunteer work right off the bat - being a delegate to the county convention - so EXCITING! blown knee not good for hiking:( little worried about descending and ascending with 50 lbs on my back and a knee that wants to give out any second. amy assures me we'll be kickin it in the back so as not to make our selves sick - drink that water mmm:)

i wanna blog, but am limiting my internet time this week. i gave my notice for os! (at least you didn't have to read it on my blog andi:)

forgot to blog about the great time this weekend. partying, bar hoping, dancing on friday. brought home a boy and kept chels awake.

mentored in red lake - so fun...those girls amaze!

partied at kamran's on sat playing beer pong with my unstoppable partner jo-nathan:) talking to awesome people like amy - the format, mentoring, ..., siegert about being an unhappy cs/ce student - give me some humanity, i can't take this abstract shit any more. he's going back for philosophy ( still abstract) and economics - his econ experiment basket.

sunday can't motivate myself to do anything but sleep

overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry, wanting to crawl into a ball and sleep. how do you implement a class hierarchy. where do the ... go?
need to let down my pride and ask for some help.

sometimes i think that all my complaining/venting/oh whoa is me just makes it worse. although it does keep in mind everything that needs to be done, so nothing is forgotten.

just keep thinking everything is going to get better - someday i will feel like i'm not struggling to get above water. next week will be better, no next week will.

add to paper - group project with reshmi, trying to encourage graduate study.
super tuesday
caucus - grassroots democracy at its best. fullfilled delegates. went to legion to check results. feel at home, could have community with this group of ragamuffin hardworking people. people who want to have a beer and bullshit.

kinda like what church could be. a community of people gathered to commune - to talk, drink, laugh, love, worship be joyous, be solemn, to pray, to sing, be loud, be silent. people who live. people who live in the real world!

Young House Love
Anna Maria Horner
Apartment Therapy
Kellie DyKast's Scraplog
Oh Happy Day
Feeling Stitchy
Desire to Inspire
Modern in MN
This is Glamorous
The Martha Blog
Perfect Bound
Love Forever
2000 Dollar Budget Wedding
a $10,000 wedding
Style Me Pretty
Snippet & Ink
Little Green Notebook Don't Call Me Becky
Sublime Stitching
St. Paul Craft Mafia
Etsy Favorites

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